So Wrong
by DaniWannaBe
Summary: We start off in “Keg! Max!”, at the most dreaded scene of the season. The scene that left us wondering, and then had us cursing and complaining about how they could have worked it out. Well, I’m working it out, or at least, trying.
1. Lock! Jess!

**Title:** So Wrong 

**Author: **Dani 

**Rating:** PG-13 

**Summary: **We start off in "Keg! Max!", at the most dreaded scene of the season. The scene that left us wondering, will they fix it, and then had us cursing and complaining about how they could have worked it out. Well, I'm working it out, or at least, trying. brbr

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of these characters or Gilmore girls. I don't have rights to "Keg! Max!", only the right to speak my mind. brbr

Chapter 1 – "Lock! Jess!"

Rory had been walking around. Wandering actually. She was wandering looking for something to do. Someone that needed her attention. She hated the feeling of not being needed. She hated having nobody to talk to. She was just, _there._ She always had somebody or something pulling at her. Whether it was Paris, her mom, Lane, or Jess. Well Paris wasn't there to give her a project, her mom wasn't there to lecture her, and Lane was busy with the band. But Jess. She didn't know where he took off. He needed her, and she needed him.

Rory didn't really want to come to this party; she never really had been a 'party girl'. Heck, the last party she had been to was a birthday party of an old friend from Stars Hollow High. She missed having that group of friends. After she left Stars Hollow High for Chilton, they were gone forever.

Lately, the only people she'd had were the ones who pulled at her. The reason she had come here was to get away, but now she felt like she needed to do _something. **Anything. She was going to look for Jess.**_

She walked towards the stairs. There was Dean, with Lindsay. It hurt her that he didn't need her anymore. He had found a new girl to play with. Rory felt like an old rag doll. She sat on the shelf while Dean played with his new Barbie Doll. She walked right passed them.

While walking through the upstairs hallway, she looked at pictures of a family. A dad, a mom, a sister, and two brothers. A complete set. She had never had the complete set. She was missing pieces of the collection, which made the value go down. Nobody wanted a set with missing pieces. Sometimes, not even her.

When she opened a random door, there was Jess. Alone, just like she had been. He looked up, startled, and Rory felt like she was disturbing him. He was at least doing _something_, thinking, in deep thought.

It was one of the things that she loved about him. The way you couldn't read him, but you knew he was thinking. It was something about the way his eyes studied everything around him. And when you stared into them, you could agree with everything he said. They were mesmerizing.

"There you are." she said. "I've been looking all over for you."

"Just got tired of everything down there." he said as he looked up into Rory's eyes. In that moment, every thought and doubt Rory had had about her life disappeared. It was the spell, the complete spell she had been under since the day Rory saw Jess.

She closed the door.

"Are we allowed to be up here? I mean, Kyle was kind of discouraging it." She really didn't care all that much. In fact, it made it seem more risky, more dangerous. She loved it. It was the feeling that Jess always gave her, but recently, had been lacking.

"When you have a party, you get what you get." He had been hiding from her, and he regretted it now. He hadn't known how to tell her they couldn't go to prom. She had wanted to go so badly, even showed him a catalogue of dresses and asked him which one he liked. She'd even made him want to go; she made it sound like the circus. To him it was a circus. People dressing in the most expensive outfits only to wear them for one night, but he had already bought a tux. Not only couldn't they go to the prom, but he was getting kicked out of Luke's apartment. He couldn't tell her what was going to happen until he made a decision.

"Yeah, I guess." He sounded broken. She wanted to fix him. She put her hand on his face. "Sad boy, what's wrong? You were looking forward to this party, what happened?"

"Nothing." He really hadn't been looking forward to _it._ He had been looking forward to being with her, alone, for once. Maybe this was his chance. He looked at her. She was beautiful, in fact, she was always beautiful, but somewhere inside himself he knew, he could never have her.

"Something did. Come on, tell me." She knew he was hiding something from her, and she wanted to fix it. To make it all better.

If he told her now, he would ruin their only time alone. They'd fight, and he really didn't want to deal with that right now. He kissed her. Maybe it would make him stop thinking, and her stop talking.

"You're not tired of me, are you?" He kissed her again.

"That's a pretty good answer." Three times makes perfect.

They rested their heads against each other. It was quiet. For once, doing nothing felt faultless. They kissed again, this time longer, and both Rory and Jess stepped simultaneously towards the bed.

She tried to keep her balance, not to ruin the kiss. She put one hand on the bed, and the other around Jess's back.

Jess laid her gently on the bed, trying so hard not to ruin the moment. But he wondered if she'd come to her senses, or if she really wanted this.

As he moved higher over her, Rory wanted nothing else. Nobody was disturbing them, and they continued to kiss. They both moved up higher onto the bed.

As he broke the kiss, Rory started thinking about somebody walking in on them. She wanted him to lock the door.

"Jess, wait." Jess couldn't stop, he was so wrapped in the moment, and it was too good to be true. Of course she'd be scared. So far kissing had been working, he'd just have to keep trying.

"Jess…" He covered her lips right as she was about to say, 'the door.' All she could get out was 'Nnn.'

Now his hands were undoing her jeans. He couldn't get them, so he just kept kissing her. He had to go slow anyway.

"Jess." This time it was more needing. She started to have doubts. This wasn't the right place. They needed to go somewhere more private. Even if she had locked the door, it wasn't their house; somebody could unlock it, and then find them. The whole town would be talking about it. She wanted to be able for once not to have people talking about her, about them. She pushed him away and got off the bed.

"Jeez." He knew it was coming. How could he have been so stupid?

"Not here, not now." She hated the way that sounded. So ordinary. She meant, 'Somewhere else, later.'

"Fine." It came out for sarcastic than he wanted it to be, he was just fed up. He was bored. He felt like he was just 'a boyfriend', not 'the boyfriend'. He didn't want to be Dean.

"What's wrong with you?" _What's wrong with me?_

"Nothing is wrong with me." _I just wanted to be with you._

"Someone could've walked in that door."

"And Santa Claus could come down the chimney." _What am I doing?_ He started this, he came on to her, of course she would be mad, if only she had given in. "Whatever."

"You did not think that it was going to happen like this, did you?"

"I don't know what I think anymore."

"Jess." _I was just trying to save us from pain._

"Rory, stop, just stop! I did not invite you up here, you came up here on your own!" _How can I be blaming her?_

Rory started to cry. _I was just trying to make this right._ "I don't know what I did."

"You didn't do anything, Rory." But she had already walked out. _Damnit__._****


	2. Campbell's Makes Good Soup

Chapter 2 – Campbell's Makes Good Soup

"Rory! Wait!" Jess ran after her. This was bad. How could this have happened? _She thinks I'm an asshole. I am an asshole. I was going to fast for her. Girls in __New York__ were never like this. Of course, I knew that._

Rory ran past everybody, past Dean, past Lane, she ran towards Main Street. Still crying, she wiped the tears from her cheeks. _Note to self: Running and crying is not such a good idea._ She had to stop, had to rest. She picked the bench across from Luke's. _Why don't I ever have tissues? Great idea Rory. Don't take a pocketbook. I hate it when Mom is right._ And then she realized the most horrifying of all things. The keys weren't on her belt. The keys that her mom had put there for the very purpose that she wouldn't make any mistakes, and now she lost them! She couldn't go home now, but she couldn't go back to the party. So she just sat there, crying.

Jess ran after her through the streets. It was at times like these when he wondered why she was never on the track team. _I guess she needed motivation. I guess me running after her is terrific motivation._ He spotted her sitting at the bench, but he stopped. _If I go over there, we are just going to fight again. He couldn't go home, and he couldn't go back to the party. So he just sat there, watching._

Jess was never known to be patient. He proved it that night more than once. After only fifteen minutes he got fed up. He couldn't stand watching her sitting there weeping. Plus it was getting cold out. He walked over to the bench.

"Rory." he said sympathetically as if he'd been looking for her everywhere. _It's better she thinks that, I guess._

Rory looked up. She really didn't have anything to say to him. So she just waited for him to do something.

"Rory, come on. Let's go."

Rory nodded. She was cold, and as he motioned towards the diner, she followed.

Being out here reminded her of the day they met.

--

Rory had gone to pick up a book she had wanted to read. She had ran of out stuff to do, and when things got boring, Rory read. It was probably why she read so much. She wasn't the most popular girl, and Dean just wasn't as thrilling an adventure as he had been anymore. She was easily bored, and easily distracted.

She spied Jess walking out of one of the local stores. Her first impression of him wasn't record breaking, but there was something about him that she just couldn't stop thinking about. Maybe the mystery in him, and his past. It was like reading the first page of a book, it's so invigorating. 

"Hey." She'd been reluctant talking to him before, but he'd liked that. It was so different than the girls from New York. She was carefree, and she read a lot. Probably more than him, which was _really_ impressive. There was something about her that made him want to know all about her.

"Hey yourself." _Am I flirting with him?_

"What are you doing out here?" It was late. _I guess I'm not used to this crime-free neighborhood yet._

"I needed something for school. What about you." _I'm lying, but it's none of his business._

"Oh yeah, same thing." He knew she was lying, so she deserved no less.__

"Uh huh." _I so don't believe him._ "So, that was quite a disappearing act you pulled."

"Potlucks and Tupperware parties aren't really my thing."

"Too cool for school, huh?" _I guess I am flirting, oh well, aren't girl allowed to lead guys on anyhow?_

"Yeah, that is me." _More like too cool for a blow-up mattress._

"What are you doing?" She watched his hands. _God he has great hands._

"Oh this? Nothing." He took a coin out of Rory's ear.

"Little tip? If you ever want to speak to me again, don't pull that out of my ear."

"So I assume the nose is off limits too?"

"Any place you wouldn't naturally find a coin, let's leave it that way."

--

As he opened the door to the diner he turned the lights on. He felt the heat of the room press on his skin. _Note to self: Wear thermal underpants._

"You want something to eat?"

"Yeah."

"Well what's your pleasure Gilmore, burger, hot dog, pancakes, eggs…?"

She was so cold.

"Actually, do you have any soup?"

"Soup." he replied.

"Yes, soup."

"Soup?"

"How many more times can you say soup?"

"How many French fries have you eaten in your life?"

This made Rory laugh. She was feeling better, warmer even.

"Make that chicken soup."

"Chicken soup."

"They say it's good for the soul."

"Huh."

"I could really use some soul healing right now."

"Chicken soup it is."

He went back to the kitchen and found a can. He grabbed the can opener and turned it swiftly. Then he poured it into a pot and turned the gas on.

"Oh, you don't have to go through all that trouble. Microwaved soup is fine."

"Soup on the stove always tastes better."

"And you know this how?"

"I'm a soup tester. Every Sunday morning while most townspeople go to church, I go down to Campbell's headquarters and taste soup, and the first thing they told me was 'Soup is always better on the stove.'" 

"Then why do they put microwave instructions on the can?"

"Because big corporations make money off of stupid people."

"Are you calling me stupid?"

"Maybe."

"Jess!"

"Kidding. I'm kidding. You're not stupid."

"I think today I was."

"Rory…" He wanted to tell her how she was the best girl he'd ever met, and how he knew she did the right thing. And how he wanted their relationship to be special and not pressured, but she didn't let him.

"No, I ran out of there so fast. I didn't give you a chance. I was selfish and something's been going on with you and I didn't give you a chance to tell me. You know, I want to know. Tell me."

"Soups ready."

"Jess." Why wasn't he telling her?

"Do you want a big or little spoon?"

"You're just going to completely ignore the fact that I asked you a question."

"You know, I might just have some soup myself. I hope you don't mind sharing."

"Fine. You know what, tell me some other time."

"Here you go." He placed down one bowl for Rory and own bowl for himself, and as they sipped soup, they just stared at each other. They were warm, content, and finally alone.


	3. Windows and Towels

Thank you for all your reviews. I was having some uploading problems and some formatting problems and the fact that it takes years and years to replace chapters, so for those of you who actually read the first chapter with all that coding mess, I commend you. And for those of you who thought I made it too easy on Jess, I never said it was over. *eviiiil laughter* All I have to say is, 'It was the soup!' *wink*

Chapter 3 – Windows and Towels

When Rory woke she was in Jess's bed.

"Crap!" she said as she gained consciousness. _I fell asleep! How could I have fallen asleep! Damnit!_ Right as she was about to scream Jess's name, she spied him asleep on the couch. _I can't wake him. Its better that I leave now, before he tries to explain this to Mom._

Rory ran out of the apartment and down the stairs and as she approached the house, she realized she still didn't have the key. Then she saw that her window was half way open. _Saved!_ As she climbed through the window, she was started by a voice.

"Rory!" Lorelai's voice practically broke the sound barrier, and Rory bumped her head against the wall. "What happened?"

Rory was in total shock and pain after hitting her head. _Should I make a run for it? How fast can she run in slippers? "Mom. Let me explain."_

"Okay, explain."

Rory didn't understand. She expected some yelling, some 'Mom, please!'s and some 'I was worried sick.'s, but all she got was 'Okay, explain.' What was going on?

Then Rory heard the back door bang shut. "Mom? Why is our door opening and closing by itself?"

"It didn't want to hear the yelling?"

Rory just stared at her mother. _Somebody was over last night._

"Um… it had tickets to the circus...invisible gnomes are taking over the house?"

Rory ran for the door but Lorelai stopped her. "Just, let it go."

Lorelai let go and went upstairs and Rory lied down on her bed, staring at the ceiling.

When Jess woke up, he saw that Rory was gone. At first he was about to go out and look for her, but then he realized she must have been fighting with her mother, and it would probably be best if he stayed in the apartment and started writing his will. He dug his hands in his pockets but then pulled out Rory's key. _What the…how did she…? Cool it Mariano, just… try to relax. He sat down on the couch and started twirling the keychain around his finger. Then he started picking up all the video tapes they had watched and putting them into their covers. __ 'Please Lorelai, we were safe. We sat at least three feet away from the TV.' _

Lorelai came downstairs into Rory's room and sat on the bed. "Are you coming with me to breakfast?"

As soon as Lorelai said breakfast, Rory realized that she hadn't seen Luke in the apartment all last night.

"It was Luke!"

"Yeah."

"Luke, you and… Luke?"

"Umm… yeah?"

"Okay Mom, I know this entire town thinks that he's crazy about you, but I was dead positive you…"

Lorelai didn't know what to say. She was caught between embarrassment, and the fact that her own daughter had been up to no good that night as well. Rory could see how vulnerable Lorelai was, so she backed down.

"Let's go, Mom." Rory got up off the bed and Lorelai followed her out the door.

As they entered Luke's they sat at different tables. 

"This is surprisingly familiar." Lorelai said. "I'll move this time." As Lorelai got up and moved across from Rory, Rory could hardly look at her. Sure, she'd decided she was going to cut her mother a break, but it was too weird. Everything that had happened the entire morning was all floating around in her head, and it was the worst feeling in the world. _God. I need some food._

"I'm going upstairs." Rory couldn't take it; she couldn't be around Luke or Lorelai. She had to find Jess.

As she opened the door to the apartment, she never could have imagined what she saw. Jess was looking into his dresser with no clothes on. His hair was wet, not spiky for once, and Rory just stood there, not knowing what do to. Should she close the door quietly and pretend she'd never come in? Would she get caught? Should she say something? Why doesn't he lock his door? As Rory folded her lips together, contemplating what to do, Jess turned around.

"Oh geez!" _My god she's sneaky._

"Uhh, surprise?"

"Surp…" He looked down and saw what Rory had been watching for the last minute or so. _Holy crap, I have no cloths on._ He ran into the bathroom. "Rory? What are you doing up here?"

"Looking for you, and apparently I found you and some of your friends."

"This isn't funny."

"You're right, I'm sorry."

"It's okay." _Let's try to lighten the mood here._ "See anything that interested you?"

"Jess!" she said as she rolled her eyes. _He's just as cocky without cloths on, who would have guessed._

Jess smirked and walked out with a towel around his waist. He would have worn a shirt, but there were no other cloths in the bathroom. Rory's eyes were immediately drawn to his chest muscles. She'd never realized how fit he was, then again, she'd never seen him naked before. Jess couldn't stop smiling. He took one arm and flexed his muscles and the other with a cocky smirk, and it wasn't long before Rory blushed.

"Impressed Ms. Gilmore?"

"Why do you do that?"

_What?_ "I'm confused."

"Why do you always catch me off guard like that?"

"Well it's not every day I get to take advantage of the fact that you have really bad timing."

Rory grinned. She then picked up one of his shirts and threw it at him. "Get dressed." _…not that I'm not enjoying this._

Jess took the shirt and walked over to Rory. She pulled the shirt over his hand and watched as each cluster of hair came through the top, and then his face. As they lost all focus on everything that had happened last night and what was going on around them, they kissed. And they needed it, because things were uneasy and because they desired certainty in their mess of a world. And when they broke from the kiss, Jess grabbed his boxers and pants, kissed Rory again and said "Will you be here when I come back fully clothed?"

"It depends on what's going to happen when you come back."

"Rory. I don't think we should do this now."

"What?"

"How can I be sure that you aren't going to freak out again?"

"Freak out?"

_I'm such an idiot._ "Never mind, forget it."

"No, don't forget it Jess. I don't understand why you underestimate me Jess. You think I'm some innocent little small town girl whose naïve and doesn't know what I'm getting myself into. You misjudge me. I am _ready_, Jess. More ready then I've ever been, I was ready last night, but it was the wrong place to share that experience with you, okay? I want our first time to be special and if you keep doubting me, I don't know how we are going to make that happen."

"I didn't know."

"Well… now you know."

"So are you telling me that you were planning for us to eventually get there?"

"Well, I was at least considering it. I mean… we can't control ourselves."

"Oh, that's just you, you see, I can control myself, but you can't take your eyes off me."

"Oh really?"

"Yes." he said as he smirked. "Really."

"So if I happened to casually brush my arm down your chest, you could resist?" she said as she took the action of her words. He kept a straight face but he began to get goose bumps.

"Yes."

"And if I lean into you closely…" she said as she did, "you wouldn't get tense?"

His heart started beating faster and pretty soon, Rory would know exactly how he was getting on edge.

"And…"

"Rory, stop."

"What? Why?"

"It's early, I have to work, and if we start doing this now, _I know I won't be able to stop. And if I don't get down there within the next few minutes, Luke will come up here and most likely find us in a compromising position, and is that how you want to make our first time special?"_

"Well…" she sighed contemplating what he has said, "no. You're right."

"I am right."

"Can I at least have one kiss to tide me over." she pleaded and pouted.

"You can have all the kisses your heart desires if you let me get downstairs now."

"Fine, but you will pay." she teased.

"Well I'll sleep with one eye open." he said as she walked out of the apartment, closing the door.


	4. She Will Be Loved

Hello everybody. Thank you for all your reviews, I've found many of them very helpful. I've spell checked and re-uploaded all the chapters. If you haven't noticed…*laughs*… I really need a beta. Anybody who would like to beta this fic say so in your review and make sure you leave your email address, so I can get back to you. Oh, and I just want to make this clear, I never meant to imply that the fic was over. *shrug* I'm not that frequent when I update, so just because I didn't post a new chapter in a certain amount of time, doesn't mean it is over. I'm sorry if I did mislead some of you. Again, really sorry. *blush*

*Inspired by Maroon 5*

Chapter 4 – She Will Be Loved

"Luke? Please!" Lorelai sweetly begged while tugging at Luke's shirt.

"No."

"I want a new mug!"

"No. That's a perfectly good mug. A great mug, in fact. That is a great mug, now drink from it."

"But I used this one yesterday!"

"So?"

"So…" she pondered as she ate a piece of her pancake, "I want a variety. Notice how everyday I come in here I eat something different. I never order the same thing two days in a row. It adds to my unsystematic lifestyle, and if you, Lucas Danes want to take that right away from me, then I will have to cease eating from this establishment." Lorelai finished satisfied while Luke stood looking at her crossing his arms. "There are about a hundred mugs up there, pick another one!"

"If I give you a new mug, will you be happy?"

"Yes, Luke. You can even pour the coffee from yesterday's mug into today's mug." she said smiling with victory.

"Fine." Luke gave her a new mug with blue and yellow stripes. As Lorelai took the mug and studied it, she made faces of disappointment. "What? What now, Lorelai?"

"I used this two days ago."

"Lorelai…"

"No, it's okay, I'll settle with this one."

"I'll get you a new one."

"You treat me good." She smiled brightly and watched Luke as he gave her a new mug with fresh coffee.

"Yeah well I do it for my own sanity as well."

Rory walked downstairs and sat down in the chair across from Lorelai.

"What took you so long?" Lorelai asked curiously.

"Oh. I was just talking."

"Hm."

"Mom. You are going to have to trust me, okay?"

"Hm."

"Mom?"

"No wait, I'm not done. Hm, hmmm… hmm… hm." Rory narrowed her eyes. "Hm." 

Rory raised an eyebrow in irritation. "Are you done?"

"Okay, Rory, we didn't really talk about this too much yet, and I don't think this is the best place to do it."

"Okay." Rory responded expecting more.

"Give me some time and we'll talk about this later."

"So you can get the rope out and tie me to a chair to make me watch videos on reproduction?"

"Exactly."

As Jess went outside the diner he looked at Rory and motioned his head to come with him.

"I'll see you later."

"Don't do anything I'd do!" Lorelai shouted as the bells on the doors chimed and Rory was gone.

"Relax." Luke said as he rested his hand on Lorelai's shoulder.

"I don't like it." She shook her head.

"I know, but you can't stop her."

"I know. And I don't like it."

Rory and Jess went out to the lake where they had been accustomed to sitting and being alone. It was their hidden spot in Stars Hollow. Nobody could see them, or spy on them. Plus it was outside, and no matter what weather, beautiful.

"Rory?" Jess said as Rory leaned her head into Jess's chest watching the water move according to the direction of the stick she held that stirred the water.

"Yes?"

"Do you love me?"

"Sure, I love you Jess."

"Is it unconditional?"

"Of course."

"Okay."

They both paused for a moment.

"Aren't I supposed to be asking you these questions?"

"What?"

"You know. Will you still love me if I had no arms? If I shrank down to the size of a pea pod? If I blew up to the size of a hippo?

"Oh."

"Jess?"

"Hm?"

"Would you?"

"If you had no arms I'd turn the pages of your books for you. If you shrank down to the size of a pea pod, then I would carry a magnifying glass with me all the time." Jess smirked. "If you blew up to the size of a hippo, we could go into the freak show business."

"You were doing well until that last remark."

"What? We could get rich. Of course we'd have to sleep in separate beds. But not bunk beds, especially if you sleep on the top."

"Nice." And they kissed, as they had so many times before. They concentrated on the other's lack of problems, which as far as they knew, was what kept them going.

As Rory got home, Lorelai was on the couch watching TV.

"I'm home."

"Hi sweetie."

"What's this, no torturous metal devices, no machine guns, I don't see any videos."

"Sit down, Rory."

"Okay." As Rory sat down on the couch, Lorelai went into her purse. She pulled out a bottle of pills.

Rory stared. She wasn't expecting this.

"Okay, now if you are going to do this. Keep these in your purse. Now I know you are going to be safe, but in the morning when you wake up, take one of these, and then call me. I really mean it this time. Call me."

Rory didn't blink. She was speechless.

"Rory? Promise me. You will call me that morning."

"Okay, Mom."

"I know you are growing to be quite an adult and I was your age, not too long ago. I don't want you to rebel."

"Mom, I would never…"

"I know. I know. You and I are a lot different than me and my mother."

"Lots. Lots and lots different Mom. And don't forget it. I'm still me, Mom."

"I can't help but feel like I'm losing you. Not now, but when you go to college, start a new life. I'm happy for you, but I can't help but feel like I'm going to be alone."

"I will come home every weekend."

"You will?"

"Yes, I'll come home on Fridays and stay till Saturday night."

"Okay."

They both smiled at each other.

"We're good?"

"Yeah, we're very good." Lorelai squeezed Rory's hand as she left the couch and went into her room.

Rory turned on her stereo and lied down on her bed staring at the ceiling, just like she had that morning, with the same uneasy feeling. Weird how the days events hadn't done anything to change her feeling of eeriness.

_I don't mind spending everyday  
Out on your corner in the pouring rain  
Look for the girl with the broken smile  
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile  
And she will be loved  
She will be loved_

She heard a tap on her window, and as she opened it, she saw Jess.

"There must be some invisible magnet that pulls people towards this window."

"Could be."

Rory smirked. _He has no idea what I'm talking about and yet it's like he knows everything._

"Come in Jess Mariano."

_Tap on my window knock on my door  
I want to make you feel beautiful_

They both sat down on the bed.

"Rory?"

"Yeah?"

_It's now or never._ "I can't take you to prom."

"What?"

"I'm not graduating."

"You're not…" she couldn't comprehend the words that came from his mouth.

"Luke won't let me live with him unless I go to summer school."

"And…?"

"I'm not going, Rory."

_I know I tend to get insecure  
It doesn't matter anymore_

It was like somebody had shot Rory's heart and it shattered into a million pieces. Her throat grew heavy and she couldn't speak.

"Why?" Rory started to cry. "Why can't you give up your dignity for once, huh?"

"Rory, I cannot go back there. School isn't for me, and you may not understand that, but I do. I can't get anything there that can benefit me, because if I go to summer school and graduate, it doesn't leave me anywhere other than where I am now."

Rory knew she couldn't argue with him. If she'd learnt one thing about him, it's that she couldn't change his mind. She couldn't fight him.

"Rory, that's not my life. That's yours."

"Well where does that leave us? Are you leaving?" She wiped some tears off her cheek.

_It's not always rainbows and butterflies  
It's compromise that moves us along  
  
_

"Only for a little while."

"Jess." she let out as she fell back and hit the bed. Jess grabbed a tissue and wiped her eyes.

"I'm coming back, after I get enough money to get an apartment. I'll get an apartment in Hartford. I'll see you whenever you want, and you can stay over. This will work out."

"Okay. And what if it doesn't?"

"It will."

She breathed. "Okay."

"Promise me you'll wait for me. Don't go running off with somebody else the second I leave here."

"Jess. I would never do that."

"I know, but you never know."

"Jess."

"I _will be back." He started to leave._

"You're leaving now!"

"Rory." _Why do you have to make this so hard?_

_My heart is full and my door's always open  
You can come anytime you want_

"No. You cannot come in here and tell me you are leaving."

"Well what do you want me to do Rory?"

"I…" Rory thought. "I want you to stay the night."

Jess's eyes widened. How could she…did she mean…it didn't matter. He couldn't let her down again. "Okay."

_I don't mind spending everyday  
Out on your corner in the pouring rain  
Look for the girl with the broken smile  
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile  
And she will be loved  
She will be loved_


	5. Bits of Violet Amber

Thank you all for your reviews. I really appreciate getting comments, because I like writing, and I like knowing that people enjoyed reading what I've written. For those of you who aren't pleased, I have to tell you, I don't write to please everybody, I write to please myself, and I won't accept anything less than a critique. Anything less than a helpful assessment will be overlooked, and I'm not trashing this story even if _all_ my reviews say it's horrible. I thank the writers who have made helpful suggestions, because that to me is better than telling me that my story is wonderful, if it can be better. Also, about the morning after pills, they are now legal. I've done my research, and if for some reason I am wrong, then in this story they are. *sticks tongue out and laughs* That's right! You have no say! Muahaha.

Chapter 5 – Bits of Violet Amber

When Rory woke up, there was a page torn from a book on her pillow. Rory read the page he'd torn out.

_"There was only the girl walking with him now, her face bright as snow in the moonlight, and he knew she was working his questions around, seeking the best answers she could possibly give._

_'Well,' she said, 'I'm seventeen and I'm crazy.'"_

Rory smiled. She hadn't read this book in a very long time, and remembering it was a warm memory.

_"'You know I'm not afraid of you at all."_

_He was surprised. 'Why should you be?'_

_'So many people are.'_

Many had been afraid of Jess, but she hadn't been. He was different.

_"'But you're just a man, after all…'_

_He saw himself in her eyes, suspended in two shining drops of bright water, himself dark and tiny, in fine detail, the lines about his mouth, everything there, as if her eyes were two miraculous bits of violet amber that might capture and hold him intact. Her face, turned to him now, was fragile milk crystal with a soft and constant light in it. It was not the hysterical light of electricity but—what? But the strangely comfortable and rare and gently flattering light of the candle."_

She turned the page over.

_Dear Rory,_

_You are my Clarisse. You make me think, and make me suspect, and grow. You are my candle in the darkness, and you glow and sparkle and inspire me to do better. And I will live up to your expectations, because anything less would be inadequate. Don't forget about me, Rory. I won't forget about you._

_Jess_

Rory fell back to her pillow, etching the curves of Jess's script with her eyes and taking in every dotted and crossed letter. His scent was still in her room and she dug her face into her pillow inhaling it, because she knew soon it'd be untouchable.

She'd wished he'd hadn't left, she'd wished they'd had more time. She knew he was coming back to stay, but it felt like she'd never see him again.

She walked out onto the porch. She could smell the dew on the grass and the seasons changing. Her eyes started to tear, and she couldn't tell if it was from her allergies or the fact that Jess was gone. The insecurity she had. She felt like a hole had been drilled into her stomach and emptied. She couldn't smile, and she went into the kitchen to get a tissue. As she sat down at the table, her mom came in.

"Morning." Lorelai greeted.

"Morning," she said subtly and obviously less enthusiastic.

"I wanted to apologize."

"Apologize?"

"Yeah, I went a little overboard last night. At least I think it did. Did I? I was thinking about it last night and maybe that really isn't necessary."

"Well…"

Rory waited for Lorelai to interrupt her, but… she didn't.

"I mean, you can't even take those. I haven't even taken you to see a gynecologist yet. You know what? I'm going to make a date. We'll have you checked out. I'm sorry. I might have scared you last night."

"Mom, I really don't think it's necessary."

"Of course it is, Rory. I never did this with my parents." she gasped. "They would have freaked if I asked them. And look what happened. Not an all bad thing, but I was lucky, Rory, you never know if you are going to be that lucky."

"I won't need to be Mom." Rory strained her voice.

"I know, you think you are going to be safe, but I've been there Rory."

Flustered, Rory began to get annoyed. "Mom! Can we just talk about this another time? Like, next week or… next year?" Rory looked away; this was too hard for her right now.

Lorelai's face changed immediately. "Oh. Later." She paused. "Fine."

Rory's throat grew heavy; all the emotion she felt would explode. She felt alone and depressed already, and Jess hadn't even been gone for a few hours. _How am I supposed to do this?_

_"So what do you want to do now" Jess had asked. He looked at Rory and waited for an answer._

_"I don't know." She turned over and looked at the wall. It was too hard for her to do this, she didn't want him to leave, but she didn't want him to be there right then._

_They sat in silence for a while. If Jess spoke, and he said something stupid, that would be the end of it. If Rory spoke, she would say something that would make him feel worse than he already did._

_"So," Jess said. "This is fun."_

_"Tons."__ Rory said._

_"Are you still going to go to prom?"_

_"I don't know."_

_"You should."_

_"What?"_

_"You should go. I don't want you missing out on the big senior event just because I won't be there."_

_"I don't know."_

_"It'll be fun. You'll dance, and… drink punch… and eat chicken."_

_"Well I do love chicken." Rory looked at Jess. "It wouldn't be the same, without you there. Besides I don't know anybody at Stars Hollow High anymore. Except Lane. And I don't want to hang around her and Dave all night."_

_"Why don't you go to the Chilton Prom? You know people there."_

_"I want to avoid being around __Paris__ that night. If something goes wrong, she'll put me to work. Plus, I can't hang around her. Jaime will be there."_

_"Even __Paris__, huh."___

_"Even __Paris__."___

_It was silent once more._

_"Listen, Rory. I know you aren't to happy with me right now, and well, we aren't on such great terms, but I'm not going to see you for a while, and… well…"_

_She leaned up onto the bed and looked at Jess. She kissed him on the cheek and said "Goodnight Jess."_

_"Yeah.__ Goodnight."_

Rory didn't want to think about Jess anymore. At this rate, she'd fail her finals and Yale would kick her out. How was it that one boy could possibly ruin her life and all she'd worked for? It didn't seem fair.

Jess got off the bus in a strange town in a strange place.

He looked around, and walked towards the boardwalk. He didn't know where he was going. He didn't know how he was going to get there. All he had was a slip of paper his dad had mailed his mom once and Liz threw it out. He had taken the envelope out of the garbage and saved it. It was one of many things he kept hidden from Liz.

He approached a house. A crazy house. It had dogs and cats and a gate. Jess hated dogs. Maybe this wasn't Jimmy's house.

Jess started to open the gate as all the dogs started to run towards him. Jess freaked and closed the gate.

"Hey! Hello, is anybody home? Hey!"

A woman appeared on the roof. She had blonde spiky hair. She looked old, but young at the same time. Young in mind. She reminded him of Liz.

"Pipe down!" Sasha yelled at the dogs. "You sellin' something?" she asked.

"No." he answered. He sighed. "Does Jimmy Mariano live here?"

"Does he owe you money?" she asked immediately.

_Wow, just the kind of father I thought I'd have._ "No, I'm his…" Jess paused. His son? He didn't feel like his son. He just had the same last name. "Jess. I'm Jess."

"Jess?" she asked. She remembered Jimmy had a son. Could it be?

"Jess Marian…" he tried to get out while the dogs started acting up.

"Frodo, back off now!" she yelled. The dog cried and scurried away. "I'm sorry, what were you saying?"

"I just wanna see Jimmy, okay?" he was getting frustrated. He was talking to a woman on a roof for God's sake. He might as well be talking to the dogs.

"Hey, did you ever see The Wizard of Oz?" she asked.

"Yes." Jess answered reluctantly.

"Remember when they go to the Emerald City and they ring the bell and the guy with the beard stuck his head out and they said that they wanted to see the wizard, and he said no, and they said, 'She's got the ruby slippers', and he said 'Well, that's a horse of a different color. Come on in.'

"Yes." he nodded.

"Well, I'm the guy with the beard and I'm saying the no unless you can come up with the ruby slippers." she raised her eyebrow.

"I'm his… son." he spit out.

"His son?"

"Yes…" Was this going to be so hard to do? "…his son."

"Well…" _His son.__ My god. "…that's a horse of a different color. Come on in."_

Rory sat at the table staring at her books. Her system was all set up, and she had left off reading about the Bolshevik Revolution, but now she found herself staring out the window. Rory was startled when she heard the front door open.

"Hello?" Luke called in the house.

Rory paused. If she didn't say anything, would he leave? He had probably just found out Jess was gone.

She heard footsteps towards the kitchen. Rory cringed.

"Rory." Luke said startled.

"Hi.. Luke." she said embarrassed. She wished she'd had answered. It was the same way she said it when Luke had caught her with Jess on the couch in a compromising position. She had been ashamed then, and she was ashamed now.

"Hey… is your mom around?"

"She went to the Inn," she said doubtfully, "I think." Rory heard her leave the house, and didn't say good-bye. She regretted it.

"Oh." Luke replied. He put his hand through his hair nervously.

"Are you okay, Luke?" she looked up. Luke had been nothing but a father to her. He didn't deserve to be lied to now.

"Umm…"

"I know." Rory said softly.

"What?"

"I know.. that.. he's gone. And I know about you and my mom." _I can't do this now. Not both._

"Oh."

"So…"

"I'm sorry."

"About which?" Rory responded.

"Both?"

"Luke…" she waited for the right words to come to her. "You have been nothing but a great friend to me and my mom, more than that. My mom deserves a great guy like you. You umm… have my blessing?"

"Wow this is so weird."

"Well, this isn't exactly a normal house you've stepped into here."

"I know."

"I swear sometimes I feel like the mom." Rory laughed. She had almost forgotten about last night.

"That makes me a teenage boy."

"Feels good to be young, doesn't it?" _Hah. What an oxymoron._

"Yeah I guess." he stood there nervously for a few seconds and looked away. His look was exactly the same as the one Jess made when he said he was leaving.

"You don't have to stand there, Luke. Do you want to sit down?" she asked.

"Sure."

It was tough to know what Luke was feeling. Mom had once called him unflappable. She had been so right.

Luke sat down at the table and followed the lines of wood with his eyes. He didn't know what to say.

"I can't believe he's gone." he said.

"I know." she responded. "It's not your fault." she said. In truth, she wanted to hear it too.

"How can it not be?" He paused. "I failed him."

"How can you say that?"

"I let him be free to do whatever he wants. I set rules for him… and I let him break them one by one."

"Jess was never one to live by the rules, Luke."

"I was supposed to change him."

"You did."

Luke looked up. He felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He _had changed Jess._

"You did a good job with him, Luke. You're gonna be a good father one day. You've been like one to me. And I can't think of a better person for my mom."

"Thanks." he said. "You're a good kid, Rory. You didn't deserve this."

"I know." she answered back. "But in a way I feel like I was asking for it." Tears started to well up in her eyes. "I let him keep driving while we were in the car. I let him control me. I don't know what it is…" she paused. "Was." she corrected as she wiped her eyes. "I liked his attention; I'd never been treated like that. I mean… with Dean it had been so different; he was a nice guy in general. But Jess was this boy who had been pushed the wrong way and hated the world, but not me. Something about me made him want to know more, and I don't know what it was. I visited him in New York! I skipped school! I missed my mother's graduation. I kiss him while I was still with my boyfriend. He was a jerk to my friends, to my grandma, sometimes even to me. I don't know what I ever saw that made me…" she stopped. _Love him._

"I know you know what it is, Rory." Luke said. "Maybe you can't word it, but there was something. I saw you two."

"Yeah?" she was so humiliated. She'd just gushed about a boy to Luke. It was her first time ever showing that much emotion to him, and he was being so patient.

"Yeah." he answered assertively. "Thanks, Rory."

Rory folded her lips into somewhat of a smile. At least, one that she could hold. "Thanks, Luke." He nodded and walked out. Rory proceeded back to Russian history.

Jess was followed Sasha down the boardwalk. It was quite a struggle as she said hello to almost every person they passed, as if she knew everybody. It was no small town like Stars Hollow, but it seemed like everybody knew somebody.

"Nice town."

"Sure is!" Sasha said happily.

_Wow, you're chipper!_ he thought.

"So do you and Jimmy have any kids?"

"Jimmy might." she responded suspiciously. "I mean… I've only heard of one."

"Oh?"

"You know I was talking about you, right?"

"Oh… yes." _Phew._

"But I have a daughter. Her name is Lily."

"Oh."

"Yeah, she's a young one. Quiet. Falls asleep in the cabinet sometimes."

"Right." he responded. _The cabinet. What kind of crazy people…_

"Here we are!" she almost shouted. Jess looked around to see if people had turned their heads.

"Right, here we…"

Jess was interrupted by a booming voice.

"Sash! What are you doing here?" He went in for a hug. He was tall, and Jess saw features of himself in this man. Part of him was angry for what he'd done to their family. Part of him felt empty for the half of his family he didn't know.

"I brought a visitor," she said focusing her eyes on Jess.

Jimmy reached out his hand. "Nice to meet you, I'm Jimmy."

Jess took his hand. "Jess."

Jimmy's hand went limp. That's when he noticed the dark curly hair. Liz's eyes. His nose. Her mouth. His… Jess.

"My Jess?"

"Your… Jess."

"You, uh, just get here?"

"About a half hour ago."

Sasha interrupted. "So Jess," she continued, "I assume you'll be staying for dinner."

"If it's not too much trouble…"

"No trouble. No trouble at all. Jess, can I steal Jimmy for a moment?"

"Uh, sure." Jess sat down on the bench, his eyes wide open. _What the hell am I doing here?_


	6. Teach Me Tommorow

As you can see by the last chapter, I've overcome my writers block. I finally know where this story is going. Amazing, huh? Maybe it took the inspiration of all the Jess previews... but whatever it was that made me snap out of it… I'm glad it came.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Gilmore girls, but if only I owned Milo…

Chapter 6 – Teach Me Tommorow 

"So, Jimmy?"

"So, Sasha." Jimmy looked back at her, not knowing what to do.

"How is work?"

Jimmy looked at Sasha strangely. "Work is gooood." he sang.

"Good, good."

"Yes." he mocked. "_Very_ good."

"So how long is he staying Jimmy?"

"What?"

"Jess! How long is _Jess_ staying."

"I don't know! I've just seen him for the first time in seventeen years!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"You really expect me to believe that, don't you Jimmy?"

"Uh, yeah, I do, because it's true."

"Hah!" she responded.

"Hah? Hah, what?"

"You've been sending money to that boy!"

"What?!"

"I saw you put that letter in the mail, Jimmy, to New York."

"I don't know what you're talking about." He turned away.

"We work so hard to keep this house, and you are handing our hard earned money to some _kid!"_

"Sash, that is _not_ a kid!"

"Hoodlum?"

"Sash?"

"Thief?"

"Alright, already!"

"Well, tell me, Jimmy!"

"I'm not telling you anything because there is nothing to tell. You've lost it; I am not sending money to that boy!"

"Fine, you know what? Fine."

"Oh yeah? Fine!"

"Fine!"

"FINE!" she yelled at the top of her lungs.

Sasha stormed off and left Jess sitting at the bench. Jimmy sat down next to him.

"Marriage, huh?" Jess commented.

"We're not married."

"Oh."

"But I'm beginning to think we should be."

Rory sat on her bed with a big empty box. She then stood up and started going through her drawers frantically. Lorelai jumped up when she heard all the commotion. Listening to drawers banging open and shut, she flinched and walked cautiously towards Rory's open door.

"_What are you doing?" she asked._

"Getting him out of my life." she responded.

"Who?"

"Jess."

"What, why?"

"Because!"

"Oh well that cleared it up." she quipped.

"I can't concentrate. Everywhere I look I see him. His eyes, his shirt, his hair!"

"Please tell me those aren't in the box." she cringed.

"Ha-ha." she said unenthusiastically.

Rory picked up her dress from Sookie's wedding and crumbled it into the box.

"Woah, woah!" Lorelai grabbed the dress.

"I can't have this!"

"Do you know how long that took me to make?"

"You let me pack away my dress from my dance with Dean."

"Yes, I know, but I have a dress that matches that!"

"You're right!"

"I am…" Lorelai stopped as she watched Rory run up the stairs and search through her mother's drawers. As Rory ran down the stairs with the dress, Lorelai stopped her.

"Rory, stop!"

"Why?"

"You're out of control!"

"No!"

"You need to cope with this before you pack him away!"

"He's gone!"

"What?" she gasped.

Rory started to tear up. "I can't believe I let him leave! How could I have held back what I wanted to say? I should have yelled at him. I should have made it hurt. I'm hurting so much! Where is he?! It's been two days! He should have called! I can't…"

"Woah, Rory, slow down. Take me through this."

"I can't." She wiped her eyes.

"You can."

"I can't!"

"You can!"

Rory went in to hug Lorelai and sob into her shoulder. "I ca-han't."

"Oh, sweetie." Lorelai rubbed her back and held her tightly.

"So then you moved to Stars Hollow?" Jimmy asked.

"Not by choice."

"Well, you kind of deserved it."

"That's what Liz said. She said I didn't deserve to live with her anymore… that I was ruining her life. That I ruined her whole life."

"Nice lady, that Liz."

Jess huffed. "Once she locked me out of the apartment."

"What?"

"Well, I don't know if _she_ locked me out. But she had a _visitor_ over."

"Oh."

"It was twenty degrees outside."

"Nice." Jimmy commented.

"Yeah, I climbed the fire escape and came in through the window… and walked in on them."

"Ack." Jimmy laughed.

"It wasn't the first time."

"Double ack."

"You have no idea. The scum bags I've had to deal with."

Jimmy was silent.

"Sorry, I didn't mean…"

"No, I deserve it. I was one of those guys." Jess looked at him with a straight face. "I'm not anymore though." Jess looked down.

"Did she… get the check?"

"Yes." Jess raised his eyebrow.

"Good."

"She ripped it up."

Rory and Lorelai sat on the couch. Lorelai was holding a bowl of ice cream with a spoon, and Rory was holding the container with a spoon.

"…and then we went to bed." she sniffed.

"Like... 'went to bed.'"

"No… we slept."

"Nothing happened?"

"No." she answered.

"Did you… want something to happen?"

"I thought… if I let him stay… or… do _that_… he'd change his mind."

"Rory..."

"Yeah, I know. I felt so cheap."

"Well, he said he's coming back."

"Sure." she said as she rolled her eyes. She pulled back her hair with her hand.

"You really did love him… huh?"

"I really… think…" she stopped. "I really did love him."

Jess was sitting in the book store with his head in a book, when he heard some girls laughing and giggling to themselves. Jess cocked an eyebrow up, and spotted a few girls huddled in a corner.

"Oh my god, he's looking over here!" one shrieked.

"Would you shut up? He's going to hear!" the other harshly whispered.

"So?" she said playfully.

The other girl eyed her threateningly.

"Come on Nat, what's up with you?"

"_Nothing is up with me."_

"He's cute. Make your move."

"Not now."

"He's the new guy; somebody is going to get him if you don't claim him, now!"

"Claim him?" she asked.

"Well, look at him."

"I'm looking."

"Go!"

"No." she persisted. Jess pulled his head up and looked directly at her. Nat turned around. "Oh crap, he looked right at me."

"Still is." the other girl said.

"Okay, Nicole. You are my best friend in the whole world, right?"

"Well…"

"Shut up. You are."

"Okay."

"Now I want you to go over there, and work your magic…"

"Nuh uh, Nat. If I go over there, he's mine."

"Nico…"

"And his shirt will be off within ten minutes… and we will be…"

"Shut up! Fine, I'm going over."

When Jess overheard, he put his head back in his book. Nat sat next to him.

"Nice book." she commented.

"Mmhmm." he grunted. Natalie looked over to Nicole with a questionable look. Nicole mouthed 'Go on.'

"So… what's your name?"

"Jess."

"Well Jess…" she looked over to her friend, "I'm Natalie. But my friends call me Nat." She put out her hand to shake.

Jess shook her hand and said, "Hi, Natalie."

"Nat."

"_Natalie."_

"_You can call me Nat."_

"Shouldn't_ I decide?"_

"Well, why don't you decide _tonight_?"

"O-kay." he said. _I'll be up all night deciding._ He rolled his eyes.

Natalie got up and then turned around and yelled, "Are you coming?"

"Where?"

"Come on!"

"Whatever." he muttered and shrugged his shoulders as he followed her out the door. _What else am I going to do? Nicole was left there with a grin on her face._

"So it looks like this will be our last dinner for a while, Rory." she said, cutting the knife into her veal.

"Looks that way." Rory replied.

"So are you packed for Europe yet?"

"Not yet." replied Lorelai. "It's much more convenient to leave it to the last minute."

"How can that be more convenient?" Emily asked.

"Well first of all, I'm going to pack things I need during the day, so I'll just keep unpacking the stuff I packed, and I'll probably leave it on the counter or on the bed, or on the shelves, or in the drawers."

"And then we are back where we started." Rory agreed.

"I always forget things when I pack late." Emily commented.

"Oh we've been making a list." Rory replied.

"A list?" Emily asked.

"Yes, we carry ours everywhere we go…" Rory said.

"And while we are daydreaming or staring out the window we might remember… 'Oh! I forgot soap!' and write it on the list." Lorelai continued.

"How could you forget soap?" Richard asked.

"It was just an example, Dad."

"Can I see this list, Lorelai?" asked Emily suspiciously.

"Uh… sure." Lorelai reached into her back jeans pocket. Then in the other.

"I…uh… must have left it in my other pair of jeans." Lorelai said nervously.

"That's okay though," said Rory. "We've been working on them for a long time, so I don't think we'll forget anything."

"How long?" Richard asked.

"Uh…" Lorelai thought. "Were you five or six when we started the lists?"

"Seven." Rory corrected.

"Seven?" Emily asked in amazement.

"Yes, of course then her list consisted of a pencil sharpener, cheese nips, and temporary tattoos." Lorelai laughed.

"No it didn't." Rory argued.

"It didn't?" Lorelai asked.

"That was _your list." Rory corrected._

"No it wasn't!"

"Yes it was, and you still have those on your list!" Rory accused.

"Well… what can I say? I'm sure as hell not getting a _real tattoo."_

"So, how are things at school?" Emily asked, desperate to change the subject.

"Oh school is good." Rory answered.

"And Jess?"

Lorelai made a panicked face at Rory. Rory moved her head towards her grandmother and then back to her food.

"This is really good veal." Lorelai commented.

"What a relief." Richard said.

"Uh… yeah. Because with all that talk about mad cow disease…"

"That boy was a nuisance." Emily commented.

"Definitely not a good influence." Richard agreed.

"Hey!" Lorelai defended.

"I know the Anderson's boy is single. Rory, maybe I can set something up." Emily suggested.

"Oh that boy is well mannered, and he's going to Yale." Richard replied with enthusiasm.

"Not bad looking either." Emily said.

"That's enough." said Lorelai.

"What?" Emily asked.

"That's enough!" Rory said slamming her fist against the table. "I've had to put up with this when I was with him and it's still going on after he's gone."

"Rory." Lorelai tried to stop Rory from making a big mistake.

"You never supported _any_ of my relationships Grandpa. And Grandma, I am not a charity case; I can find my own boyfriend!"

"We never said…" Emily tried to interrupt.

"Mom, let's go." Rory walked out of the room.

Lorelai made a face that clearly said 'I'm sorry.' and followed her.

"Sounds like my kind of town." Nat commented. Jess and Nat were sitting on a bench with two cones of ice cream staring out at the water.

"Boooring." Jess sang.

"Not _so boring. You've got lots of characters in your town. All we have here is Fay."_

"Who's Fay?"

"She's this old woman who hits on all these young guys."

"Sounds like Ms. Patty." Jess commented.

"Who?" Nat asked.

"Never mind."

"The water is really pretty." Nat commented.

"I'm not jumping in." Jess responded.

"And the ice cream really adds to it too."

"Yeah, on this freezing cold night." Jess retorted.

"Yup."

"So you just ignore my complaints now?"

"Yup." Nat laughed.

"Don't make me take your ice cream." Jess threatened.

"What are you going to do with it? Drop it in the sand?"

"Maybe." Jess answered.

"You are three."

"You are two." Jess reacted.

"I'd say you are one, but I don't think one year olds eat ice cream."

"They would probably get brain freeze."

"They probably couldn't hold a cone either."

"I don't think a baby could eat a cone."

"What's the point of eating ice cream then?"

"The unanswered question asked yet again." Jess commented.

"Ice cream is so much better in cones!"

"It's _always better in cones." And at that, Jess shut up._

--

"Admit it!" Jess requested. "It's always better in a cone."

"It's always better in a cone." Rory laughed.

"Putting ice cream in a dish, eating it with a spoon?"

"What is wrong with people?"

Jess held his cone up in the air and sucked ice cream out from the bottom. "Hold the wheel." he told Rory.

"What?"

"I'm dripping here, hold the wheel."

"I can't hold the wheel, you're driving." she replied. "The person who's driving has to hold the wheel. That's the first thing they teach you in Driver's Ed."

"Huh." Jess replied. "I've gotta take that class one of these days. Take the wheel."

"Jess!"

"I'm letting go." At that moment, Jess pulled his hands back and Rory grabbed the wheel as if the car would spin out of control any second.

"Stop! Take it back." Rory commanded. Jess simply licked his cone. Rory observed a drip of ice cream land on his lips and Jess licked it off. "Okay, you are taking this wheel back and when you do, I'm going to kill you. I'm just letting you know that."

"I appreciate the warning."

"Jess!"

Jess grabbed the wheel and when Rory was sure he wouldn't let go again, she put he hands back in her lap. "Okay, I got it." Jess said. "Geez, you look pale. Are you okay?" he joked.

"Death, and it's going to be painful." she replied.

"You're not gonna kill me. Think how dull your life would be without me."

--

_I left her to that life._ And somehow, in some selfishness in his mind, he'd hoped it would be boring.

"I wonder if they'd be sensitive to it on their bottom jaw."

"I'm sorry, what?" Jess had been in a daze.

"You know… when you are eating ice cream… how your bottom front teeth are really sensitive to cold."

"No."

"What? How can you say that?" Nat asked.

"Because I eat ice cream all the time and I've never noticed I couldn't use my bottom teeth." Jess laughed.

"You're lying!" she accused.

"I swear I'm not."

"Okay, do it."

Jess tried to eat his ice cream, but he couldn't put it in his mouth because of his wide smile.

"Eat, eat, eat, eat!" Nat cried.

"I can't eat while you're staring at me like that!"

"Like what?"

"Like if I dropped the cone you'd lick it off the pavement."

"You can't do it." she chanted.

"No, I can't." he smiled.

"Hah! I must be the first person to point out a weakness."

"Hardly the first." he said as he rolled his eyes.

"The first to… break you out of that hard exterior."

_"The second_." Jess thought.


	7. No Cell Phones at Victoria’s Secret!

Thank you for your reviews. Jess is totally coo-worthy. I didn't like it that on the show, all these Stars Hollow people seemed to ignore the fact about how good looking he was. Well, I know that everybody on TV is beautiful.. blah blah blah.. but Shane was the only girl who went after him, and we didn't see it. Plus the fact that she could have been a slut just looking for some fun. So yeah… haha. If you haven't noticed… I think Jess is hot. I shall now retreat to feed him grapes. Thanks especially to my beta Sandra, who has really helped get my story to where I want it to be. Thanks a lot!

**Disclaimer:** I admit it! I stole the characters! They are all tied up in my closet. Wait! *holds up hand* Stay right there! If you move another foot towards me, Luke is a gonner!

**Chapter 7 – No Cell Phones at Victoria's Secret! ******

Lorelai and Rory are in the living room on the couch, reading the books they bought about backpacking.

"Oh!" Lorelai shouted.

"What now?" Rory grumbled.

"Did you know…"

"Stop."

"…that you should carry exactly twice as many socks as you carry underwear?"

"Twice as many pairs or twice as many socks?" Rory asked.

"Oh. I don't know. I'll have to read further."

"Because, if it's twice as many socks, then that would be the same amount of _pairs_ of socks as underwear."

"Yeah." Lorelai agreed skipping through her book.

"Therefore, that fact you just told me, is common sense."

"Mmhmm." Lorelai continued reading. "Make sure you watch your sleep sheet."

"What?" Rory asked.

"It says here that the author lost it to an overzealous cleaning lady and never got it back." Lorelai said. "Hm. At least it would be clean." she commented.

"It says in my book that you shouldn't bring a sleep sheet. It says that they are super heavy to carry, and when you find hostels that require them, you can rent them."

"Eww."

"What?"

"I'm not _renting_ somebody else's sleep sheet."

"I'm sure they wash them, Mom."

"Who knows what they've been doing in their sleep sheet!"

"In a hostel? With lots of other people around?" Rory replied unconvinced.

"I'm bringing my own sleep sheet." Lorelai said stubbornly.

"Fine. But don't come crying to me when it gets stolen."

"No fanatical cleaning ladies are coming near me!" Lorelai quipped.

"It says here that we need to bring thongs." Rory said.

"Why? To please the European men?" Lorelai said suggestively.

"They dry quicker." Rory replied disgusted.

"I guess that means we are going shopping!" Lorelai squealed excitedly.

"For thongs." Rory added.

"My baby is growing up." Lorelai pouted emotionally.

"If you haven't noticed, I've never actually been a child."

"That's right." Lorelai agreed. "You came out of the womb with a matching bra-thong set!"

"Eww gross!" Rory laughed. "Babies should not wear thongs."

"I totally agree. I tried to have an adult conversation with you, but you kept taking my credit card and putting it in your mouth." Rory looked at her mother as if she had lost her mind. "You were teething." Lorelai responded as if it were actually an acceptable explanation.

"Apparently some things come naturally to us Gilmores."

"Apparently so." Lorelai agreed.

Jess was sitting on the couch watching 'I Love Lucy' reruns in Jimmy's house. Lily comes over and sits next to him.

"What are you watching?" Lily asked.

"TV." Jess responded.

"No." she laughed. "I mean, what show is this?"

"One you probably haven't heard of."

"Oh." Lily paused. "Why isn't it in color?"

"Because back in the old days there was no color."

"Really?" Lily asked wide eyed.

"Yup. And the people who are color blind today, are really time travelers from the past."

"Are they evil?"

"Totally." Jess smirked.

Jimmy walked in. "Lily! I got you pizza!"

"Great!" she shouted as she bounced off the couch and skipped into the kitchen. Jimmy walked out of the kitchen and sat down on the couch next to Jess.

"So you came in pretty late last night." Jimmy commented.

Jess turned his head back to the TV. "Yup."

"I was getting a little worried. This being a new town and all."

"I'm fine." Jess said.

Jimmy sighed. "Are you staying here?"

"What?" Jess turned his head to look at Jimmy.

"Are you… living here?" Jimmy clarified.

"It's not my choice." Jess protested.

"Are you asking?"

"Are you?" Jess quipped.

"I already did." Jimmy retorted.

"I've got nowhere else to go…"

"I'll put sheets in the guest room." Jimmy got up off the couch and walked away.

"Jimmy." Jess called. Jimmy turned around. "Thanks."

Jimmy nodded and grinned. "You're welcome."

Lorelai and Rory are shopping at the mall. Rory is pulling Lorelai's arm.

"Don't do it again!" Rory laughed.

"Come on! One more wrinkled make up counter worker."

"No! You are taking advantage!" Rory replied pulling harder on Lorelai's arm and laughing.

"I am not taking advantage," Lorelai defended. 

"You cannot ask any more counters for samples for our backpacking trip."

"But they understand!"

"Yes, but we have an entire Clinique shopping bag worth of samples. Plus I saw you stuff two hand lotion samples into your bra!"

"You saw that?" Lorelai asked surprisingly.

"Yeah and so did those two guys you wanted to impress." Rory giggled.

"I wasn't trying to impress them!"

"Oh you weren't?"

"No. Two good looking guys… at the mall…_together_."

"Oh mom!"

"Well, it's true!"

"Don't mock the gays." Rory warned.

"Yeah, well if they attack us, I'll hold 'em down and you can throw samples at them."

"I'm not helping you with your evil plan."

"Well then we aren't going thong shopping."

"Good. I'll wear my regular underwear."

"No! I want to go thong shopping!" Lorelai whined.

"You are so pathetic." Rory chuckled.

Jess was lying on the bed with the phone on his chest. He stared at it in thought. He had been in California for almost a week, and he hadn't yet called Rory. His girlfriend. Was she still his girlfriend? Was she still the one he intended to go back to? Why was it so hard for him to call?

Jess picked up the phone slowly and started to dial Rory's cell. Then he hung up. He started again, and held the phone with his hands trembling.

The ringing was the most obnoxious sound he had ever heard. He could almost hear it talking to him. It was telling him that she hated him. That he left her for a new life, and that he wasn't coming back. He almost hung up once more.

"Hello?" Rory said.

Jess's eyes opened wide. Her voice. The voice he hadn't heard for so long. Not a record breaking amount of time, but it felt like ages. He heard voices in the background. Lots of them. They were echoing.

"Hello?!" Rory said again. "I think my battery is low." she called to her mother.

"Rory." he managed to get out.

"What?" Rory yelled into her phone.

"It's Jess." he said softly.

"Hello?!" Rory repeated. She hadn't heard anything Jess had said.

"Jess!" he yelled. "It's Jess!" Jess sat up and forcefully leaned into the mattress.

More echoing. Then two clicks. Rory was gone.

"What's wrong?" Lorelai asked softly, observing her daughter's cold face.

"I-" she stuttered "-I don't… nothing."

Lorelai looked at her suspiciously. "Okay. Let's go. We've got a lot of shopping to do. And may no wrinkled sales lady or gay couple stand in our way!"

"Right." Rory responded. "Right." she repeated to herself.

Jess fell back onto the bed. These were the reasons why he would never get a cell phone.


	8. Regretting the Future Already?

**Disclaimer:** I'm not stealing the characters, but if you are as good looking as Milo, feel free to search me for them. 

**Chapter 8 – Regretting the Future Already?******

****

"So I think that's it!" Lorelai said excitedly, throwing down one last bag on the floor.

"Yup."

"We've got backpacks, t-shirts, khaki pants, long sleeve shirts, sweaters, sandals, comfortable shoes." Lorelai stated.

"Earplugs." Rory added.

"A flashlight." Lorelai took a flashlight out of her bag and shined it on her face. "Did you ever hear the story of the Euro traveler?" she said spookily.

"No." Rory said intrigued.

"Well… one night, an innocent American was walking along the streets of France. And then…"

"Yes…"

"Somebody grabbed him! And he was never seen again." Lorelai stated anxiously.

"You better not tell me bad stories like that on the trip." Rory commented.

"I do _not_ tell bad stories." Lorelai defended.

"The Turtle and the Rabbit-like-creature." Rory replied.

"You were young! You didn't understand what a hare was!"

"Okay, I think all we need to pack now is some duct tape."

"And…"

"What?! We did not forget anything else."

"The most essential thing you need when backpacking! The essential of the essentials. The essence of…"

Rory's glare interrupted her mother's ranting.

"A sense of humor."

"Nice build up." Rory remarked.

"Humor. Just remember the humor."

Then the phone rang.

"I'll get it, and maybe you can work on your Euro ghost stories."

"Hush, child." Lorelai reacted.

"Hello?" Rory said as she walked into her room with the portable.

"Rory." Jess stated.

Rory paused. This was it.

"Rory?" Jess said again.

"Yeah… uh… Jess?"

"Rory." Jess repeated.

"Hi." Rory answered nervously.

"Hey." Jess said. Then there was another pause.

"Uh… where are you?"

"I'm… in California with my dad."

"Wow. That's… far."

"You're telling me…" Jess responded. Another pause. "It's been a while."

"Why didn't you call?"

"I'm calling now." Jess retorted.

"Why didn't you call sooner? I mean, it shouldn't take over two weeks to get to California."

"I was just… settling in…" Jess said lacking confidence.

"You could have called. You should have called! You should have called to tell your _girlfriend_…" and then Rory paused. She held her breath.

"I… I know. I'm sorry." Jess responded hesitantly.

"When can I see you?" Rory asked.

Jess didn't know what to say. Was Jess going to be able to afford another ride back across country? Would Rory come all that way to see him? Nothing made sense anymore. It was all planned out. What happened to them?

"I don't know."

"I'll come to see you." Rory stated.

"You would… you will?"

"Yes. I mean… how long can this go on?"

"This?"

"This. This… not being able to see each other, awkward, not talking thing. I… I don't like it."

"Neither do I."

"I want to see you." Rory looked at the floor.

"Likewise."

"I miss you."

"Likewise, again." Jess replied. 

"We still have some things to work out." Rory said hesitantly.

"I know." Jess said guiltily.

"I miss you." Rory felt her eyes water.

"I miss you too. Come as soon as you can."

"I… want to." Rory said. "I've got to go."

"Okay, well, this number is 310-396-7045. I know it's long distance but…"

"I'll talk to you on Saturday. I get free weekend minutes on my cell phone."

"That sounds…"

"Oh shoot!" Rory muttered.

"What?"

"I'm leaving for Europe on Thursday."

"For how long?"

"Till the end of August." Rory frowned.

"Oh." Jess replied disappointed.

"I… I don't… I can't…" Rory couldn't get out the words. This trip had been in the making since before Rory could talk. She'd been looking forward to this all of her high school years. She wanted to see it all. The Louvre. The Eiffel Tower. Big Ben. She was going to be an overseas correspondent! How could she do that without seeing the world. Her world. But at that moment, her entire world seemed to revolve around _him._ _Him,_ the only boy who had made her feel whole. _Him_, the only person who had figured her out and make her weak. _Him, _the boy she thought she loved.

"Don't do anything you'll regret, Rory."

"I've got to go." she said quickly. She hung up the phone and then buried her head into her hands. _Crap._


End file.
